What does that mean? Anyone? Actually, not anyone. Jordan?”I grinned internally as I turned to look behind me at Jordan. She looked surprised, but swallowed hard, glanced at me, and responded.“Umm, would we change formation? If not, I’m not certain.”“We would.”She nodded, saying, “We would switch back to our regular formation. Rhee would trade places with Beth, I would go in for Heather, and any starters not on the pitch would go back in.”“Correct. For however long our season lasts, that will be how we do full D. There may be the occasional replacement of Jess or Jules. However, after today, we’re essentially done after our first loss, so we’ll be using starters for all positions other than right striker when we’re in full D. Jordan’s D skills are just too much stronger than any other front-line option we have. Well, other than Rhee.”I was still looking at Jordan, so watched her manage to both beam and be embarrassed at the same time. When I turned back to Coach, she was looking. I fumble, he helps and his trousers are open. His hands on my head, pushing. My ponytail pulled, tight. His words rough. His sweat, his stench. The cold. All triggers. Euphoria. Bliss. Overwhelming. I remember my instructions, just. I stop. I reach into a pocket and pull out a piece of paper, handing it to him. I explain, it’s garbled, he laughs with little sound and less humour. But he does it anyway. His phone out, recording. I am lost. I am lost in a sea of sweat and euphoria, stench and bliss. Sleaze and cold. More words, more triggers, more pulses, more flashes. The intensity overwhelms me and for the first time I falter. I slip back, on my hands, his grip preventing anything worse. I regain myself, as much as I can. I’m on my knees now. I worry about my boots and then instantly forget. I remember my instructions. Mouth or face. Oh yeah. Face. That’s why we’re here, out the back, out of the cab where things can be spilled without consequence. I continue. His hands back in place.
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